The Darkest Hour: The Surrender Series - Book 4 Read online

  He held his breath, and his heart tightened in his chest as the runway came into view, the blinking signal lights whipping by too fast. The fog turned into a dark wind, coiling around the plane like a snake, choking it. Then the crash of metal and flash of fire engulfed everything in a deafening explosion.

  The dream changed, the darkness softening to reveal a heavily wooded glen where emerald and amber points of light played upon the landscape of colors. The woods behind the Lockwood mansion. The lights, like errant will-o’-the-wisps, then became the flashlights of searchers. They shouted the names of two boys in the dark. Two boys who were lost. No, not lost—stolen.

  With a sudden sense of terror, Royce gasped and bolted upright. For a second he couldn’t remember where he was or who he was with until Kenzie stirred and spoke his name.

  She sat up, combing her fingers through his hair. “Royce?”

  He didn’t respond. His heart was racing, and he felt dizzy. The nightmares always clung to him longer than he wished, while any good dreams slipped through his fingers like grains of sand. Royce leaned his head back against the black leather headboard.

  “Royce, you’re scaring me.” Kenzie’s use of his first name seemed to ground him. He looked her way, and in the dimly lit room he could see her wide brown eyes were on him.

  “Sorry, Little Mac.” He lifted his hand, brushing it through her dark hair. “Bad dreams. Really bad dreams.”

  She shifted closer to him, resting her head on his shoulder. “Sometimes it helps to talk about them.”

  He chuckled dryly. “You get bad dreams?”

  “Of course. Everyone does.”

  Not like mine. Mine are nightmares.

  She seemed to sense his disbelief and continued. “I get these dreams where I’m running from something or someone, and I can’t move fast enough. It’s like time slows down, but only for me. You’re vulnerable. Powerless. Helpless. You feel like the end is coming, and all you can do is be a spectator to it.” She shivered and burrowed closer into his side and raised her head.

  He looked down at her. There was an intimacy to this far greater than sex, and it scared him, but at the same time he didn’t want to pull away.

  “I have two dreams,” he finally said. “Though they often follow one after the other. It starts off in a plane, flying over Manhattan. I can see the city lights, and the fog comes off the sea, swallowing everything below the plane. I know what’s coming, but there’s nothing I can do. I watch the runway disappear, and then it all ends in a fiery crash.” His body seemed to shift to panic mode again, his heart racing, but he kept talking.

  “Most of the time I don’t wake up. Then I’m trapped in the woods behind the Lockwood mansion. I see searchlights, hear people calling out, but I can’t make a sound. It’s like I feel like I was Emery or Fenn when they were taken.”

  Kenzie was quiet a long moment. “You dream about the Lockwood kidnapping?”

  Dark emotion seized his throat and threatened to strangle him. He nodded.

  “I don’t know much about what happened. I was only three.” One of her hands lay flat on his chest, and he placed his hand over hers, holding her palm to his skin, needing that connection. It seemed to give him the strength to continue.

  “They were kidnapped when we were only eight years old. We were just kids. I spent days at the police headquarters talking to child psychologists, social workers, FBI profilers, and none of them could help. My parents were there through it all, though, keeping me sane.” He paused, pain lodged in his throat, and he swallowed past the lump in his throat.

  “Three months later, Emery was found, but not Fenn. We didn’t know it at the time, but he was taken by one of his kidnappers to Colorado and raised as his son. Twenty-five fucking years.” He closed his eyes, seeing flashes of his nightmare. The beams of the flashlights swept the dark forest but never spotted them. “It’s like I went into the woods that night with them, and part of me, just like a part of them, never came back.”

  Kenzie’s nails dug into his chest. “Royce, that’s awful. I’m so sorry.”

  He squeezed her hand. “It is what it is. I have lived with that missing part of myself for so long I don’t know how to feel any other way.” He knew what he was saying probably didn’t make any sense. “And just when I thought I might be past it all, my parents died in a plane crash. I was nineteen.”

  “I knew about the crash,” Kenzie admitted, rubbing her cheek against his shoulder. The tightness in his chest that always came whenever he talked about his parents eased a little.

  “They were my world.” He whispered the confession, and much to his relief she didn’t laugh.

  “I feel like that way about my parents, even my brothers.”

  “I forgot about your brothers.” He chuckled.

  “Yeah,” she giggled. “And they would so kick your ass for what you did.” She leaned in and sat up a little to kiss his startled lips.

  “Babe, I’m sure your brothers are tough, but I can handle them.” He cupped her cheek, and the smile on her mouth wilted at the corners, like flowers in the late fall.

  “What is it?” he asked.

  “Royce, what we’re doing… It could ruin everything. It could end our careers.”

  He didn’t blame her for worrying. He wasn’t afraid of a lot of things, but losing his job at the university was a big one, and her career would be over before it even began.

  “What do you want to do?” he asked. Whatever happened from this point on, it had to be her choice.

  She bit her lip and gazed into his eyes. “I want this—I want you.” She leaned into him, feathering her lips over his, relishing that she had this time to be with him, to have the right to kiss him whenever she wished without fear.

  In that moment, she owned him in a way he hadn’t thought possible. He kissed her back, cupping the back of her head and tasting her lips so sweetly that it brought tears to her eyes. She wanted him again, needed him in a way that was too strong for either of them to resist.

  Kenzie reached for the buttons of her flannel nightshirt. “So…” She slowly revealed her body to him. The moonlight pouring in from the windows illuminated her breasts as she unwrapped herself like a Christmas present.

  He knew just what he wanted to do. She sat on her knees next to him as she let the nightshirt fall away. He reached out, cupping one of her breasts, rubbing his thumb over one tight nipple. She arched her back, offering herself to him, and he groaned as he reached for her, gripping her by the waist and pulling her on top.

  She settled onto his lap, straddling him. Her breasts were now close enough that he buried his face against them. He drew a nipple into his mouth and squeezed gently on her other breast. How could she taste so sweet? He let his hand slide down to her ass, tugging on the black panties. The urge to rip them again was almost overwhelming. Kenzie brought out a savage side in him. He always loved to be a bit rough, sure, but something about her made him feel like an animal, desperate to get at her.

  “Wait,” she said, hiking her hips up, giving him the chance to pull her panties down, but while she straddled him, he couldn’t get them off. He grabbed her waist and pushed her gently so she landed on her back. Then he had the chance to slide the panties off her. He tossed them away and stared down at her.

  “You’re beautiful,” he rasped, making it more than just praise for her body. The moonlight reflecting in her dark eyes. The way she spoke his name.

  “Royce.”

  It made him weak-kneed.

  “Go slow?” she asked timidly.

  “Anything for you, Little Mac.” He’d had her rough and dirty, and now he wanted her just like this, slow, agonizingly tender until it almost killed them both.

  He slid back so he could part her knees with his hands. She was pink and wet, her core welcoming him, the patch of dark hair like an arrow pointing him to the most sensitive part of her. He needed to taste her, to feel her tremble and quake against his tongue. He kissed a path from her knee
up to her inner thigh, and she wiggled, panting the closer he got. He was so used to tying a woman down to keep her immobile that he’d forgotten the pleasure of feeling a woman struggle to contain her building pleasure. He smiled as he pressed his lips to her clit. The swollen bud peeped out of its hood, and he latched on to it, sucking and swirling his tongue.

  She hissed, her hips bucking, but he used his palms on her thighs to keep her legs spread open. He feasted upon her, licking at the sensitive folds, flicking his tongue at the most hidden part of her. He used his fingers with his mouth, bringing her to a panting, gasping orgasm.

  She held in her scream, and her legs trembled around his shoulders. She was too weak to do much else but lie there, and that was exactly what he wanted. He slid up her body and freed his cock. He gripped his shaft, rubbing the tip of it over her wet slit. She moaned softly, arching her back. Kenzie was like a virgin sacrifice to a god, and he was so glad he was the one to own her. He took his time, sliding into her inch by precious inch. She reached up and gripped his shoulders as he fully seated himself inside her.

  Royce leaned over, caging her with his body. She curled her arms around him, her nails scraping his neck in a way that sent shivers through him and made his cock even harder. When he took a woman, he liked it raw, hard, and dirty, and he rarely ever kissed them. But as he gently thrust into Kenzie, he felt the bone-deep need to kiss her, to feel her breath mixed with his as her body came apart at the same moment his did.

  He slanted his mouth over hers. She kissed him back, and something inside him let go. He couldn’t explain it, but the knot in his chest, the one that felt as heavy as lead, seemed to dissolve and finally disappear. He felt that pain and that darkness that had been inside of him since he was eight seem to ease. Kissing Kenzie and taking her body slowly in the darkness of this room made him feel like he’d been saved in a way he couldn’t put into words. It was as if the flashlight beams swinging through the dark forest had finally found him.

  His kiss became urgent, but he still rode her slowly, keeping his thrusts gentle, and she responded in kind. Sweet agony flooded through him as he felt her climax. Her little gasp against his lips was so soft, and yet her coming apart seemed to rock though him to the very center of the world. His body seized, and he buried his face against her neck, kissing her as his own release exploded through him. Every part of his world shifted on its axis.

  Long afterward, he continued to explore her mouth. It felt as though he’d never kissed a woman before. Her soft lips beneath his were heaven, and the playful dance of her tongue made him forget the dozens of women he’d been with. There was only this moment, only Kenzie for him.

  He lifted his head to stare down at her. She was smiling drowsily. She didn’t speak, but then he couldn’t either as the lump in his throat made that impossible. Instead, he carefully lifted her up in his arms and tucked her beneath the sheets, curving his body around hers.

  “Good night, Royce,” she murmured against his chest, and her breathing slowly deepened. He held her close, his thoughts fractured as he tried to understand what had just happened to him. But deep down he knew. He’d always known. He was falling in love with her.

  I’m so fucked.

  11

  Pale morning light roused Kenzie from one of the deepest sleeps she’d ever had. She opened her eyes, blinking slowly as she took in the elegant and lavish room around her.

  This isn’t home. This is…

  She was bewildered for a long moment, wondering how she’d gotten here, in Russia with her professor and in his bed. Memories from last night hit her, and she winced as she shifted. Her inner legs were sore, and between her thighs hurt too. She bit her lip to hide a smile.

  Dr. Devereaux sure knew how to make love, as they had stared into each other’s eyes and he’d gone slow, it had rocked her to her very core. She hadn’t been a virgin before, but that last time was what every girl dreamed her first time would be like.

  She sat up in bed, still tender all over, and it felt good. She tucked her knees up to her chin and realized she was smiling. She couldn’t seem to stop. That was when she heard it, the sound of the shower running and the voice of a man singing in deep tones. Normally, a man singing in the shower would have been cringeworthy, but not Royce. His voice called to her like a male siren luring a lady sailor to jump ship.

  Kenzie slipped out of bed, wrapping the top sheet around her like a toga, and padded over to the bathroom. Beside the massive hot tub was a large marble shower. Royce had his back to her, the hot water pouring in rivulets over him from his head down to his muscled ass. All she could do was picture digging her nails in that ass when he thrust into her. Just like that, she was wet for him all over again.

  She approached the shower, tilting her head to listen to him. He was singing the Metallica song “Nothing Else Matters” in a beautiful baritone. God, he could’ve been a rock star, not just a paleontologist.

  “Dr. Devereaux?”

  He froze, cutting off his song abruptly. He turned, revealing his cut body, the perfectly ripped muscles and abs too chiseled to be real, yet they were. She had stroked her hand over them last night.

  “Little Mac,” he replied, his eyes raking over her.

  “Need some company?” She was so nervous asking, she thought she might die. What if he regretted last night? What if he’d had his fun and was done with her? She wasn’t ready for this to end. Even though she knew this would end regardless when they returned to Long Island, she could pretend for a few more days that this wasn’t going to be over.

  “If I ever say no when you ask me…” He trailed off, shaking his head with a wry chuckle. He opened the shower door. “Get in here. Leave the sheet on the floor.”

  Laughing, she dropped the sheet and stepped inside, closing the shower door behind her. They stood there staring at each other, the water hitting his body before he placed her body in front of his, soaking her with the hot spray. She sighed and leaned back against him, feeling his cock press against her lower back. God, she loved that he was so much taller, like a dark-haired Viking. He reached up and massaged her shoulders.

  “Want me to wash your hair?” She glanced at him in surprise. He shrugged. “What can I say? I give good head.” He winked and she giggled, heat flooding her cheeks.

  “I thought that was my line? You might have to give me a few pointers,” she shot back.

  He suddenly smacked her across the ass, giving a light sting and making her squeak in surprise.

  “Sassy,” he muttered, but the gleam of humor in his eyes pleased her. “Maybe you should prove your skills right now?” He rocked his hips, and she knew what he actually meant. Her heart raced madly as she turned to face him. She’d never really gone down on a man before and had been kidding with her comment, but the hungry look in his eyes made her want to give it a try.

  “Okay…” She put a hand on his chest and shoved him back so he was pressed against the back of the shower.

  Then she knelt down. His erect shaft, so close to her, was intimidating as hell. He was way too big for her mouth, but she could try. She placed one hand on his lower stomach, tracing the V indentation of his pelvis and hip while she reached up and gripped his cock with her other hand. She opened her mouth and took him inside. He groaned loud and low, his hips moving forward, as if he couldn’t stop involuntarily thrusting.

  “Fuck, Kenzie… Fuck.” He moaned her name over and over.

  She took him in. The slightly salty taste of his cock was different but not unpleasant. She took her time, listening to the sounds he made. She licked, sucked, squeezed with her hand, pumped him, and tried hollowing out her cheeks as she moved her mouth over his shaft. When he gripped her head and began to thrust hard, she couldn’t help but moan at the tip of his cock on the back of her throat. He suddenly cursed, and she tasted him on her tongue.

  He let go of her head and she swallowed, licking up every drop of him from her lips before she let him slide from her mouth with a pop. Her legs w
ere so shaking hard from own arousal. That had been the hottest thing she’d ever done.

  He lifted her to her feet and kissed her, his mouth moving over her like a ravenous beast. She moaned against his lips, and he smacked her ass again.

  “You really are going to fucking kill me, Little Mac,” he growled. They kissed for several minutes, their bodies pressed together until he was hard against her stomach.

  “Again?” she teased before nibbling his bottom lip. His eyes almost rolled to the back of his head as he groaned in pleasure.

  Before she could react, he lifted her up, pinning her against the side of the shower opposite the door and thrust up into her. He’d gotten hard again fast, and her channel was still sore from last night, yet he took her hard and furious and she loved every sharp, pleasurable second of it. Her breasts pressed to his chest, and she clung to him as he fucked her. Then she came and seconds later he did the same. He leaned against her, holding her up, still impaled on his cock. His forehead pressed to hers and he sighed, his eyes closed.

  “You’ve got to slow me down, babe. Or else I’ll just keep fucking you like there’s no tomorrow.”

  She laughed. “That’s not a bad thing. I’m just mad this is the kind of sex I’ve been missing out on. I’m making up for lost time.”

  “I’ve been missing out too. Being with you—” He paused, his eyes searching hers, and the sudden blossom of vulnerability she found in his eyes undid her. “It’s like nothing else, like no one else.”

  Her heart pounded against her ribs. “It’s the same for me,” she whispered back.

  Neither of them spoke for a moment. The water sprayed on their backs, steam crawling up all around them. He finally withdrew from her and let her back down to her feet, but he didn’t let go, didn’t put any distance between them.

  “Now, I think you said something about washing my hair?” she reminded him, loving that at least for now she could tease him. She could be herself. They weren’t Ms. Martin and Dr. Devereaux—they were Kenzie and Royce. Someday she would look back on these precious moments and hold them close in her heart, no matter what happened after.